Finally! Laki ku dapat pindah!

Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah..Alhamdulillah.....

Syukur setinggi-tinggi kesyukuran pada Allah. Akhirnya penantian yang sekian lama berakhir juga. Tadi Jumi called, ckp the final result of the final meeting dah keluar. And he will be transfered to Kerteh bermula 1 Mac 2015. Though i already expected it sebab last week he's told me that they have received an email regarding this.. so the chance is about 99% .. And today is the confirmation. Alhamdulillah rezeki dariNya.

I wanna go to Labuan before you come back here plssss... i wanna say good bye kepada tanah yang menyimpan seribu kenangan manis dan kenangan paling pahit dalam hidup ni. After all, you've gotta cherish your life, your memories, be it the good ones or the bad ones. I wanna cherish them all. Labuan... sebuah nama yang bila aku sebut, akan ada perasaan manis dan pahit. nak tersenyum dan menangis at the same time. Ada satu tusukan tajam dan kemudian, ada air penawar yg mengalir juga. Complicated sungguh. haha...

I can foresee my life in the next 2 months. It's not gonna be the same anymore. InsyaAllah we'll be able to move into  our new home. And new working hours for me. New school for M&M's. And of course new lifestyle with him around. Wheeeee! I'm so looking forward to it.

Owh rasa nk berjoget dan menyanyi riang.. lalalalala~

A Long Summary of the past 6 months

Gosh! the last time i updated this blog was on July 2014. And now it's already 10th of January. Kesian blog ni, abandoned for a long time. So, today anak2 tidur rumah nek wan, so i'm gonna have a bit of me-time, will try to update what has happened since july.

CAFE

Alhamdulillah, kami berjaya membuka cafe pada 10th of September. Actually kalau nk ikutkan bersedia, mmg tak bersedia langsung. Sistem pun tak figured out lagi, barang banyak lagi tak complete, but hey, kalau tak start now, bila lagi? nk tunggu perfect? adooiii.... sewa dah start bayar since march.. cannot hold any longer la.. manyak rugi woooo... so we decided to 'redah' je, and Alhamdulillah sambutan luar biasa sangat. Masa opening day, full house! Sampai ramai yang kena berdiri. dan chiller cake kosong!

Opening day mmg sangat meriah. Rasa nk terkangkang pun ada.. hahaha.. bayangkan kena serang serentak at lunch hour.. mostly by family and friends and follower2 Panaderia yang dah lama tunggu sbb teaser kat FB dan insta since march lagi.. haha.. finally dpt jugak buka, hah amik kaww... terus kena serbu.. Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah..

Dan sesungguhnya, tugas nak running cafe ni bukanlah semudah yang disangka. I admit that we underestimated the task. Phew... kalau terkenang balik, what a risk taker we are. Kami banyak terlanggar dinding, tergolek, terlentang, pastu bangun semula. haha.. banyak la trial and adjust yang kami terpaksa buat dan hadapi. Ye la walaupun some of us ada pengalaman before this, tp this time, it's totally different. Cabaran dari segi pekerja, management, system, emosi.. fuh, seriusly it's not easy. Sangat2 challenging. Rasanya kalau tak kuat, dah lama rebah and kalah. Tapi Alhamdulillah, berkat doa dan kesabaran dan kerja kuat semua orang, kami masih bertahan sampai hari ini. Dan alhamdulillah we are doing better and better insyaAllah.

Sekarang, after 4 months bukak the cafe, things are more manageable, dah makin stabil, system makin kukuh, pelanggan makin ramai, pekerja makin berkaliber, dan kami pun makin matang. Syukur sangat2.. Our target is by this year, kami akan mampu auto run kan the cafe.. so that we could have more free time ourselves. Sebab right now we are working 7 days a week, unless ada hal tertentu, boleh la amik cuti. This is part of the sacrifices that we have to made. insyaAllah tak lama lagi bila dah auto run, semua orang boleh rehat sikit. ameen..ameen..

ok habis bab cafe. now pegi bab seterusnya...

MARRIAGE

Well, after quite sometime been struggling on a sinking boat, apparently we managed to repair the boat, and the boat tak jadi sinking. hahahhaha... Alhamdulillah for that. i can feel that my love for him is going strong. Stronger than ever. Through this, i learned so many things, about myself, about him, about relationships, about marriage, which i think i would not learn sampai bila2 kalau Allah tak uji kami macam ni. Yang mana mata tertutup, hati tertutup sebelum ni, semua dah tercelik dek tamparan hebat yang Allah bagi. Sakit. Memang sakit. Tak terperi. Tapi manisnya pun tak terperi. I can now look back, and be able to smile bila memikirkan the journey that we had to go through masa tu. haha.. ntah apa2..di uji at a such young age. And i met a few people that inspire me a lot, because they have rode on the same boat before and manage to come out stronger. Apa2 pun, berbalik pada Allah. Bila kita meletakkan sepenuh tawakal, insyaAllah hati mudah jadi redha. After all, semua yang kita ada ni milik Dia. Suami, anak2, harta benda, pangkat, nama... kalau dia nak tarik, takkan kita nak marah pulak kan? hmmm.. bersedia. that's the keyword. insyaAllah we'll be fine. I love him. I love me. I love us. That's all about it!

ANAK-ANAK

Marissa dan Maisara tahun ni akan masuk 4 tahun. They no longer sent to Educare UIA, but now dah enrolled at Vital Years. Macam pusat tuisyen la. Ajar english and reading. They seem to enjoyed it very much. Hari2 tak sabar ajak ibu pegi vital years. Though i suspect dia happy sgt sebab dapat makan snack during the break. I bekalkan kacang2, choco oat, coookies.. tu yg dia gemar sangat tu. tapi hopefully they really enjoy the learning experience la. Hai la anakku, ibu is trying her very best to provide you with the best education. And to compensate for the time that i cannot spend with you. Doakan ibu cepat2 dapat auto run cafe, so ibu dapat spend moreeee time with you girls ok!


By the way, it's already 12.30pm.. i need to bersiap pergi rumah nekwan, meet the girls and then go straight to cafe. Tak tau la bila lagi ada free time nak update blog ni.. till then, taraaaaaaa!

the series of unfortunate events...

Life has been very busy and very fortunate lately.. Alhamdulillah.. I can't thank God enough for that. Dah almost 3 bulan running bake shop, skang bulan ramadhan, kami tengah pulun siapkan order untuk raya cookies. Dapat order dari istana banyak sgt.. Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah.. Cafe is still under renovation. Target to open by August. Tak tahu la tu sempat ke tak.. InsyaAllah harap yang terbaik. So far, So Good. Allah has been very kind to us. Thank you ya Allah :')

Tapi... on the other side of the world.. dunia mereka tak seindah duniaku. Palestin is being attacked brutally by Israhell jahanam. Setiap hari dalam Facebook there will be new pics of the injureds, the deads, the bloods, the tears of the small children.. Ya Allah, remuk redam hati ni. Marah. Sedih. Takut. Helpless. Semua ada. Dan pada 10 hari terakhir Ramadhan, serangan semakin rancak. Dan aku di sini, hanya mampu melihat, berdoa dan menyumbang sedikit dari rezeki ku buat mereka di sana. My tears running down everyday. Everytime i read the updates on facebook. It's so heartbreaking. I don't even have feelings nk sambut raya. Tak tergamak rasanya. Seeeing all those tears, betul2 menusuk hati. Tabahlah wahai saudaraku...

Itu baru di Palestin. Di Syria pun tak kurang kritikal. Rejim Basyar jahanam membunuh rakyatnya dengan kejam. No words can describes the pictures i've seen on facebook. Too cruel to digest.

Kali ni aku tekad nak boikot semampu yang boleh. NO MORE COKES, NO MORE PEPSI, NO MORE MILO. NO MORE MCD. NO MORE. NO MORE. NO MORE. Banyak lagi products yang kena boikot. Mesti boikot. Sebab aku taknak duit aku jadi penyumbang dalam kekejaman israel laknatullah.

Dalam pada kekecohan di Syria dan Palestin, tiba2 dapat pulak breaking news, MH17 was shot down in Ukraine. Another heart breaking news to bear. Ya Allah, naik flight has been my biggest fear for all this while. And this kind of news is not helping at all. Sedih. Marah dengan apa yang terjadi. Again, hanya doa yang mampu aku berikan. Moga keluarga mangsa yang terlibat sentiasa tabah dan redha. Aku doakan mereka kuat hadapi ujian ni. Sebab kalau aku diuji yang sama, aku tak tahu mcm mana aku akan hadapinya. Hanya Allah yg jadi pengubat.

Just now, i broke into tears reading a letter from a doctor dari Norway yang volunteer bertugas di Gaza. here's what he wrote :

Letter from Norwegian hero doctor who is in Gaza right now
Dr. Mads Gilbert MD PhD

Dearest friends -
The last night was extreme. The "ground invasion" of Gaza resulted in scores and carloads with maimed, torn apart, bleeding, shivering, dying - all sorts of injured Palestinians, all ages, all civilians, all innocent.
The heroes in the ambulances and in all of Gaza's hospitals are working 12-24hrs shifts, grey from fatigue and inhuman workloads (without payment all in Shifa for the last 4 months), they care, triage, try to understand the incomprehensible chaos of bodies, sizes, limbs, walking, not walking, breathing, not breathing, bleeding, not bleeding humans. HUMANS!
Now, once more treated like animals by "the most moral army in the world" (sic!).
My respect for the wounded is endless, in their contained determination in the midst of pain, agony and shock; my admiration for the staff and volunteers is endless, my closeness to the Palestinian "sumud" gives me strength, although in glimpses I just want to scream, hold someone tight, cry, smell the skin and hair of the warm child, covered in blood, protect ourselves in an endless embrace - but we cannot afford that, nor can they.
Ashy grey faces - Oh NO! not one more load of tens of maimed and bleeding, we still have lakes of blood on the floor in the ER, piles of dripping, blood-soaked bandages to clear out - oh - the cleaners, everywhere, swiftly shovelling the blood and discarded tissues, hair, clothes,cannulas - the leftovers from death - all taken away...to be prepared again, to be repeated all over. More then 100 cases came to Shifa last 24 hrs. enough for a large well trained hospital with everything, but here - almost nothing: electricity, water, disposables, drugs, OR-tables, instruments, monitors - all rusted and as if taken from museums of yesterdays hospitals.But they do not complain, these heroes. They get on with it, like warriors, head on, enormous resolute.t

And as I write these words to you, alone, on a bed, my tears flows, the warm but useless tears of pain and grief, of anger and fear. This is not happening!
An then, just now, the orchestra of the Israeli war-machine starts its gruesome symphony again, just now: salvos of artillery from the navy boats just down on the shores, the roaring F16, the sickening drones (Arabic 'Zennanis', the hummers), and the cluttering Apaches. So much made and paid in and by US.
Mr. Obama - do you have a heart?
I invite you - spend one night - just one night - with us in Shifa. Disguised as a cleaner, maybe.
I am convinced, 100%, it would change history.
Nobody with a heart AND power could ever walk away from a night in Shifa without being determined to end the slaughter of the Palestinian people.
But the heartless and merciless have done their calculations and planned another "dahyia" onslaught on Gaza.
The rivers of blood will keep running the coming night. I can hear they have tuned their instruments of death.
Please. Do what you can. This, THIS cannot continue.
Mads
Gaza, Occupied Palestine
Mads Gilbert MD PhD
Professor and Clinical Head
Clinic of Emergency Medicine
University Hospital of North Norway

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Raya kali ni paling takde semangat. All goes to the Palestinians and the Syrians who suffer in their homeland. Moga Allah berkati mereka. Kurniakan syahid buat mereka. Kuatkan mereka. Berikan kemenangan kepada mereka. Ameen.. 

13 Things mentally strong people don't do

If one day, my children will ever read my entries in this blog, i would want them to really take note on this particular entry. I want them to become a mentally strong person. Coz no matter what you do, if your mental state is fragile, you gonna break easily. I've been broken. But i woke up. I got back up, higher. Even stronger than before insyaAllah. And i thank God for giving me the strength to face His big trials after trials on me. He taught me well, that's for sure. I can feel that i am now a completely new person. It's amazing how you can transform so much in within a year. No more looking back on the past. What past, stays in the past. I'm going to live the present and looking up for the future. I can see it's getting bright. MasyaAllah. Thank you Allah. 

So, here are the 13 things mentally strong people don't do. Take note kids! 

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves 

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.


 2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power 

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond. 


3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change 

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt. 


4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control 

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude. 


5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

 Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy. 


6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks 

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action. 


7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

 Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it. However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.


 8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over 

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.


 9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success 

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success. 


10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure 

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.


 11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time 

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive. They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.


 12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

 Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits. 


13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results 

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time. 

Long but meaningful journey

I'm now tengah berehat kat one small hotel in KB.

Pukul 7 pagi tadi bergerak from cameron, around 12pm sampai kat KL Sentral, naik KLIA Ekspress pegi KLIA, terbang ke KB, around 4.30 selamat check in di hotel. Fuh.. What a long journey, kepala a bit sakit, but still i am thrilled to be here! Tak sabar to get in the class tomorroww!!

Hari isnin, 21hb baru ni dah kelam kabut nak mampos. We were scheduled to bertolak ke Cameron on the 21st. And i woke up on the Monday morning believing that it was still the 20th. Until dibah whatsapp me asking about my trip. Baru lah i looked up on the fon, saw the tarikh .. 21ST APRIL!! I haven't done any packing yet, anak2 masih tidur, aku masih belum mandi, macam2 menda masih belum dibuat.. uwaaaaaa! So bermula lah episod huru hara macam nk giler.. hahaa..sabor je la mak.

Alhamdulilah berjaya got myself ready by 12pm dan bertolak dengan selamat ke cameron highland untuk Program outreach. Believe it or not, this is my first time menjejakkan kaki ke Cameron. I love Cameron. Nyaman je. Nanti nak ajak hubby honeymoon kat sini la.. ala2 permulaan musim summer kat UK gitu.

Outreach di Cameron tak la se perfect di Senderut. This is their first time handling outreach program. Banyak yang kena improve. Hopefully dorang belajar dari kekurangan program kali ni. Next week, my last outreach for this year, will take place in Betau, Pahang. And then boleh concentrate on the cafe opening. Gotta do the Marketing part plak.. Wheee.. i love this part!

As for now, focus dulu dengan Seminar Intensif Dunia Pelaburan Saham "Strategies of Millionaire Investors" by Tuan Haji. Asri dan Dr.Nazri Khan hari esok. I'm ready to rock on the stock market.. wheeehuuuu! InsyaAllah. Moga Allah permudahkan urusan menuntut ilmu kali ni.

Masa zaman belajar kat UK dulu, ada duit lebih dalam 1000 pounds sterling plus duit simpanan lain sket, adalah la total dalam rm8000. Pegi la invest saham dalam 2 company. KNM dan Muhibah. Both jatuh lepas tu. Few years after, i gave up waiting. I sold all my saham. And last week, Tn.Haji Asri shared, saham Muhibah tengah meletop! Arrgh.. i have sold those saham in Muhibah. Tu la.. melabur tanpa ilmu, main ikut orang je, lesap macam tu je rm8000 aku. Tak kira lagi kerugian invest dalam Gold. hahaha.. harap2 dah berakhir la zaman kebodohan aku meng invest sana sini tanpa ilmu. Baik invest dalam mencari ilmu, kemudian make money out of the knowledge. Lagi selamat kan?

InsyaAllah, moga Allah pelihara setiap langkahku. Doakan saya kawan2.

I'm excited. Super happy! Nak rehat dulu.. Chow!

I'm sorry. I gotta do this.

Finally.. our own cheque book!! Peghak pulak rasa bila boleh sign cheque book sendiri.. muahahaha.. selama ni terima cheque je.. skang dah boleh issue cheque.. fenfeeling jutawan gitu.. ameen.

Now lebih pertengahan april dah.. both cafe and baking shop masih dalam renovation. Banyak pulak masalah timbul. Paip air pecah la. Tangki rosak la. Longkang tersumbat la. So kena settle one by one baru boleh proceed dengan kerja2 lain. Mintak2 la sempat mula by May ni. Permintaan untuk cookies Ria and kuih talam sangat tinggi. We need that baking house utk produce massively. Kesian customers yang dah order tapi kami tak boleh nak meet the demand sbb kekangan peralatan dan tempat. Tak sabar nak masuk  at least baking house dulu. The cafe can wait.

And! Actually aku dah start bercuti awal bulan April aritu. Mengumpul sepenuh tenaga dan kekuatan mental untuk call my boss, Puan Liyana, and beritahu aku nak amik cuti panjang. Aku hanya layak cuti tanpa gaji selama 3 bulan je, sebab aku baru kerja 4 tahun. So i told her, aku nak cuti setahun, tapi kalau tak boleh lepas, aku akan hantar surat resign la. And kak yana a bit sedih la dgn berita tu. I'm so sorry kak yana. Bukan sengaja nak buat macam ni, but i cannot tahan kerja kat pusat tu lagi. Rasa macam mayat hidup dan takde guna pada masyarakat. Kerja aku sibuk hanya during outreach, and during projek2 instrumen bagai. Selain dari tu, melanguk kat opis tak buat pape. Bosan dah keje macam ni selama 3 tahun. I need a new environment. A productive one. A healthy one. I need a more meaningful job. That gives me satisfaction and at the same time, benefit others as well. I can only find these in the business. So, i want to pursue this. Both my Shaklee business and my cafe business. Rasa alive sangat. And rasa macam orang baru. Not the same mandom person like before.

I love my colleagues at 3PK. But i don't love the system. The system has dissappoint me in so many ways that i can no longer tolerate. I feel useless. I feel demotivated sangat2 tak terkira demotivatednya.  I have lost interest in what i do. So, what am i waiting for? to pencen like this? no way. Better i go start something new NOW. Not later when i am already 35 or 40. That would be too late. I HAVE TO START NOW.

I'm sorry Kak Yana, I'm sorry Hana, I'm sorry Aisyah. I'm sorry 3PK. I'm sorry BPK. I'm sorry KPM. Saya mengundur diri dulu. Moga kalian terus tabah berjuang.

I'm a new Rozzairin. With a new mission. With a new spirit. With a new strength. I'm going to fly high. insyaAllah. Doakan saya ye kawan2. :)

Panaderia it is.

We've been brain storming each other about which name to choose for our cafe. Too many suggestions. Banyak yang bagus2. Pening kepala nk decide. Until one day Abang Saperi suggested, why don't kita guna nama Panaderia je? And semua pun macam, aah la.. that sounds good to me. Lagi pun Panaderia dah established kat kuantan ni.

Apa hal la kita nak pening2 fikir nama macam2. So, Panaderia Cafe nama diberi. Ada lebih kurang sebulan lagi before the Opening. Harap2 boleh meet the dateline.

Meeting selang sehari. Di celah kesibukan semua orang berikan komitmen yang terbaik. Dugaan datang here and there, tapi insyaAllah our determination and passion are bigger than the obstacles. Tak sabar nak tgk progress cafe tu. Hopefully contractor dapat siapkan secepat mungkin. And we may proceed with the deco plak.