Because I am a woman

"Every woman wants a man who respects her for her values, virtues and ethics. She wants a man who is proud of her strong character and her unique personality.

 A man who can support her unconditionally and stay connected to her soulfully.

 A woman who loves you truly will never ask you to buy her expensive gifts. She won’t ask for diamonds, rubies or a promise to bring her a world of luxuries. 

She just wants your love, care and attention. 

She wants you to spend a lot of quality time with her and appreciate her for all that she does for you out of love and affection.

 Every woman is unique in her own way and she wants to be the most appealing woman in her man’s life.

 A woman’s heart is so full of love for the man of her life that she just gives it freely even for the little he does for her. 

She doesn’t want commitments and promises she just wanted to be loved to the core."

And i am that woman. Though sometimes ada jugak mintak macam2 nak makan itu ini. Pegi sana sini. haha.. 

But i am that woman who just wants your love and honesty. I put my trust on you. I gave you my heart and soul.  Never ask for anything else in return. Except for you, loving me back. Loving the best of me and accept the worst in me. To guide me, when i am wrong. To grow old with me. Making me laugh when i forget how to even smile. You are good at this. Do you know that?

I hate to admit. But we have wasted most of our precious times being apart from each other. So far apart that we only get to see each other once a month. That's only 12 times a YEAR! plus ada la tambah sket2 balik kerap2 tu pun tak sampai 5 kali kot. We were caught in our own busy and highly routined lives. You have your own life. And i lead another one on my own. I became so independent that you feel you are no longer needed. But please know that you are my strongest source of strength. Just by knowing that you are there, still holding on to me, still be patient with me, still loving me, dah cukup untuk me rasa kuat sangat.. That's my recipe of being a superwoman. YOUR superwoman. It's you and your love.

But this strong love have its risks. When you love too much, Allah will tests you. And a heart that loves deeply, when fall and broken, is almost impossible to fix. 

I believe, the best is yet to come. I'll be waiting. For you to come and fix my heart. So that i could love again. 

Please don't give up on me yet. I have loved you once. And i want to love you forever. Sampai syurga.. insyaAllah. I believe our love is still there, hiding somewhere. we just need to find it and bring it back. I believe you still have the will, the will to love me and see me happy. Build a home for me and our children. We could be happy again. And we will. Because I truly believe. 

The Most Important Thing..

I cried reading this picture. Tiada istilah bosan. Cinta sejati. Bawa ke mati. insyaAllah. 

The Road I Travelled

Salam..

Sesungguhnya memang amat lama aku tak menulis kat sini. This busy and routined life has swallowed me. Until i was lost. Lemas dan tenggelam dalam kesibukan.

Tak sedar sesuatu sedang memakan diri ini. Sedang memakan kebahagiaan ini.

 KEBAHAGIAAN. Satu perkataan yang tiba-tiba asing bagi aku. Betul ke apa yang aku ada selama ni adalah kebahagian? Atau itu semua satu kepura-puraan?


Sejak dua menjak ni aku banyak berfikir. And in fact, dah ter overthinking kot.

Aku impressed bila lihat pak cik dan mak cik yang tua2, tapi saling taking care of each other, holding hands, making coffees for their spouse, berborak bersembang bergurau bersama. They look so romantic. Dorang ni tak pernah bosan ke dengan each other? Anak cucu tentu bahagia lihat atok dan nenek macam tu. Tapi of course only God knows what have they been through sepanjang tempoh perkahwinan mereka. Aku yakin ada turun dan naiknya juga.

"There is still time to change the road you are on". Kata-kata ini aku terbaca di saat aku betul-betul lost. Di saat hilang punah segala harapan. But there is still time. Masih belum terlambat untuk mengubah segalanya. Hanya tersasar sedikit dari jalan yang lurus. Bukan sesat tak jumpa jalan pulang. Hanya tersasar. Tergelincir sebab tak berhati-hati. Mungkin sengaja memilih untuk merasai sedikit adventure di pertengahan jalan. Namun tersedar bahaya gaung yang menanti di hadapan.Itu pun selepas tersepak batu dan terjelepuk jatuh berdarah kaki. Teman di sisi marah. Kenapa cuai sangat? Tapi dalam marah-marah, tetap dipapahnya jugak. Justeru, berpatah balik ke jalan yang selamat. Sebab destinasi jauh lagi. Tak boleh tersungkur di pertengahan jalan. Belum pun tiba di pertengahan sebenarnya. Baru permulaan. Lagi la tak boleh tersungkur.

Teman yang setia, akan sudi meneman sampai bila-bila. Jika tersasar, akan ditarik semula. Tapi kalau tersesat sehingga tak dapat di kesan, teman itu terpaksa pasrah. Nak di ikat tali, tak logik. Itu bukan caranya di zaman ini. Hanya pada Allah kita semua berserah.

Terbaca di status seorang kenalan di FB :

"Perkahwinan itu adalah satu ibadah. Seharusnya ia membuatkan kita lebih dekat dengan Allah. Lebih baik solatnya, boleh solat jemaah, solat di awal waktu sebab selalu ada yang mengingatkan dan ajak solat bersama. lebih banyak ibadahnya, lebih bersyukur dengan nikmat yang Allah beri, dan kurang berbuat maksiat. TAPI jika selepas berkahwin berlaku sebaliknya, maka haruslah kita duduk bermuhasabah. Ingat kembali, adakah aku niat berkahwin kerana Allah? Apakah matlamat terakhir aku dengan perkahwinan ini?"


Bila terketuk begini. Baru tersedar. Ya Allah. Jauhnya aku dariMu. Keseronokan. Kebahagian. Itu yang aku idamkan. Tapi ketahuilah, syurga Allah itu mahal harganya. Dan tentu sekali keseronokan bukanlah bayarannya.

Ujian datang. Hadapi, Ambil iktibar. Teruskan hidup. Jangan ulangi. InsyaAllah.

p/s: Aku pun nak bahagia. Aku akan bahagia. Dengan IzinNya. :)

The Mayonnaise Jar Lesson :)

THE MAYONNAISE JAR

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “YES”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.” he said.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are
important to you...” he told them.

“So... pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Worship with your family. Play with your children. Take your partner out to dinner. Spend time with good friends. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled and said, “I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Tak perlu cakap banyak. Just take note. :)