Recently, i've got a private message from one of my FB friends. I never knew her. But she said she is kawan kepada my friend. Sama-sama belajar di UK dulu. Dulu memang suka main approve je sape2. Haha..
Anyways, tujuan dia send message tu sebab nak tanya pendapat. Hoho.. Suspen.
She is about to get married. But then, nanti terpaksa berjauhan dengan suami sebab dia keje di utara, suami kerja di selatan. Dia tanya pendapat aku, ok kah macam tu? Long distance relationship ni macam mana? Susah ke?
Hmmm.. kalau dia tanya pada aku soalan ni pada tahun lepas, mungkin dengan bangganya aku akan jawab.. "Nothing to worry lah.. as long as you two love each other, nothing can gets between you". Seriusly. Itu yang aku rasa dan fikir pada waktu tu. Aku ketawakan mereka yang baru sebulan berpisah tapi dah timbul konflik. Apa la dorang ni, tak pandai bertolak ansur la tu. Kata aku pada waktu tu.
Ramai orang pandang aku as a QUEEN OF JARAK JAUH. One of my friends pernah mintak izin untuk jadikan cerita aku sebagai penguat semangat kepada kawannya yang sedang berjarak jauh dengan suami. Katanya hidup aku lebih mencabar. Dengan anak kembar dan suami jauh di Labuan. Haha.. aku kata ok saje. Dapat jadi inspirasi dan sumber kekuatan orang lain, why not?
Dan kali ini, seorang lagi wanita memerlukan pendapat daripada pengalaman aku yang secebis ini.
I asked her. Do you want me to tell the whole truth? Do you really want to know?
So i told her.
Everything was beautiful at first. I cried everytime kami nak berpisah di airport atau stesen bas. I cried at nights when i was missing him. Even though we were apart, but it's nice to know that you have someone on the other side of the world who is also missing and loving you. And thinking of you. As much as you are thinking of him. And setiap kali berjumpa, usually after 2-4 weeks tak jumpa, we were like pengantin baru all over again. So madly deeply in love.
But then, all of these sweet lovey dovey thing started to change when our twins came into the picture. I was superly busy with my twins, i don't even have time for myself, let alone for him. He started to feel neglected. And i didn't even realise it. I always thought, it's ok. My husband knows how busy i am. How hectic my life is. With two babies to handle. He surely understands. I didn't realize it until one day he told me that he actually felt lonely. And it hit me like a bomb.
As the time passed by, our life has become so routined. I know i have mentioned this routine word quite a lot, but i can't help it, because it is so true. So i told this girl, don't ever let your life become so highly routined that you bored your partner to death. Do something to break your routine once in a while. Have some odds in between. Renew your love. Renew your feelings. Cause the feeling is not gonna stay the same after some period of time.
Hidup rutin ni memang tak boleh nak elak. It will happen to everyone. Sooner or later. Samada disedari atau tidak. Semua orang hidupnya sangat lah rutin. Tapi jangan biarkan ia tenggelamkan bahagia dan perasaan cinta itu.
And one of her concerns is that, zaman sekarang ni kes curang terlampau berleluasa. Sehingga menjadi kebiasaan pulak. So macam mana? She asked. Jeng Jeng Jeng! Aku pun tak mampu nak jawab soalan tu. Tinggal jauh bukan penentu pasangan akan curang atau tak. Duduk sebumbung pun bukan jaminan pasangan akan setia. Kalau tinggal jauh, tapi dia jujur, dia cinta dia kasih setulus hati, dia tetap akan setia. Tapi kalau duduk sebumbung tapi semua nilai2 tu takde, dia tetap akan curang. Jadi, kesimpulannya, TAWAKAL. Yes, tawakal sahaja yang mampu awk buat dik. Marriage is a gamble. Berani atau tidak untuk ambil risiko.
And lastly i told her.. Kahwin ni best. Best gilerrrrr! Rugi kalau awak tolak untuk berkahwin. Tapi, cuba sedaya upaya untuk duduk sekali. Sebab jarak jauh ni melanggar fitrah perkahwinan. Sesuatu yang melanggar fitrah will usually mendatangkan keburukan. So, usaha yer.
Hmmm.... Tak tau la nasihat aku ni betul ke tidak. Membantu dia ke tidak. Takpe, tunggu je. Kalau sampai invitation tu Alhamdulillah la.. haha..
Tapi kalau tanya aku sejujurnya, I STRONGLY AGAINST LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP! SAY NO TO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP!
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